Diving Deep

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Living in a small Village as I said has its problems. No one in my area can speak good English and my Thai is terrible. Learning Thai is very hard due to the tones and the script and if I could do anything again, I would wish to be able to learn Thai properly to make my life easier.

I have been living in this village for three years now. We have a small Lana house, three dogs (Labrador, Beagle and Silky cross). Fhons parents and brother live with us, so we always have a full house. There is rarely a quiet moment and sometimes, to get peace, I need to go to my room and relax.

My mental health is not good. I have suffered Bipolar Disorder for over 30 years and it has taken a toll on me. I have only been medicated properly for the previous three years since meeting my wife and my life has become a lot more stable. Still, as I have found having a stress free style of life is very important and I need time by myself or away in quiet areas (going to coffee shops or for a motorcycle ride) to keep my mind at ease. My mind is easily bored and without medication, it is constantly racing or I am depressed. There is rarely any between time, so it is important to take my medications and stay as well as I can.

Most of us that have mental health issues find it hard to find a middle road. At times I am like a fish in rough waters and I am thrown around from side to side until I dive deeper to find calm water. Finding that calm in your mind is hard to do and having somewhere you can go to find such peace is important every day. I like to swim when I can and that helps me but sometimes, diving deep to find calm water does not work and I become despondent. It is a never-ending battle between my mind and my soul.

I think our soul plays a very big part of how we are and how we react to things. No matter how we think of it, that part in our mind that is our consciousness is connected to our soul. What you talk and what you think is what you believe and we are from a young age, taught that we need to be strong and these feelings need to be suppressed as it is a sign of being weak. We are corrupted and that I feel is the first step in becoming unwell from an early age.

What we think and what we talk to others is what we believe in most cases but our brains are wired in such a way, we get to believe in wrong things. I mean, all my friends talk about money, their careers but none of them talk about happiness. Most whinge about having to work and that they do not get enough time off on the weekends as it comes down to money. Money is a very important thing. I see poverty here in Thailand and it is not a very nice way to live. Most of us think money first and happiness comes a long way down on that list.

Still, if I told you you need to believe that your health is more important then everything else, some might disagree as they have never been sick in there life. I have been sick for most of my life and I believe that having good health is paramount to being able to lead a good life. That is why I want to advocate that your mental health is very important and that you need to take time out of your daily life to slow down and to dive deep into calm water when you have a chance.

Living as a young man in Thailand around friends that are mostly 20 to 30 years senior to you gives you another perspective on life. Most just talk about how well off they are and they are banging a woman that is 40 years younger than them. None of them talk about happiness and many of these guys just drink way too much. They are trying to squeeze out the remainder of there life as a young man. What they talk about is what they believe. I find it very disheartening, so I limit my time around people like this as I prefer to listen to good words that soothe my soul and make me feel happy.

So, I find it is important now for my mental health to be around others that take happiness seriously within life and talk about good things. Finding people with similar needs of wanting to dive deep into calm waters has made a very large difference in my life. My wife is such a person and I have a small circle of friends that are the same. When I am well enough, I like to go for motorcycle rides with them or eat. I don’t do it often but I am trying more each day.

That’s all that we can do each day. Just try to find an inch of happiness, dive deep into the waters to remain calm and most of all, use our mouth to relate good things to others and believe we can make the world a better place. Most of us do not understand that having good mental health is very important and does not give it a second thought, when in fact, it is part of the fabric that holds it all together.

Just think about that and have a good day.

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thailandkatokman

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